Starberri Web

Good things come to those who wait

I haven't written here for a while and my only excuse is that I've been so busy, and at the same time really really happy. God in His great love has introduced me to the man I've been waiting for all my life. And now he's here, I realise the 26 years without him, the wrong boys I've been with, the pain, the heartbreak, though I sometimes wish I could have been spared it, it's all been worth it. I'd wait another 26 years for this man. He fits me like a glove. God is so good.

I don't want to sound condescending or patronising to any of my readers who are still waiting for the man or woman God has for them, but please humour me and allow me to offer this simply as an encouragement. I know how hard it is to be waiting, I know how you feel when you've just had enough of the wrong men (or women). For you, dearest readers, God's heart is yearning for you far more than you have ever yearned for your other halves. Let Him love you, let Him lavish you with all the affection only He can give. Because I assure you, even when you meet the person who is so perfect for you you simply know they were made to order for you, even they will let you down, even they will have days when they don't love you as they should, but God, the wonderful Lord, He shows you nothing but the best love. It is His love that will show you the kind of love you should expect.

And believe me, when He does bring you together with the one He has made for you from the beginning of time, the one whose side you were taken from, or the one who was taken from your side (in the case of the men), the one who was made from the same lifeless lump of clay, well, your "ideal man/woman" will pale into insignificance beside them. God knows better than you know yourself who you want and need. He made you, and He made them. NEVER stop believing it. But let Him love you first. He so desperately wants to. No one else can delight his heart like you can.

"But now, this is what the LORD says - he who created you, he who formed you: 'Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are MINE. You are precious and honoured in my sight, and I love you." Isaiah 43:1, 4b

"You have captured my heart, my treasure, my bride. You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes..." Song of Songs 4:9

"Wait for the LORD. Be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." Psalm 27:14

"Delight yourself in the LORD nad he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

Cloister walk

As I sat to pray in the blue room of the Cathedral, the colours and shapes playing in my mind and turning into the shapes of seas, and trees, and plains and planets, everything there worshipping God, I raised my voice up to him in praise, but then felt compelled to remain silent for a while.

He spoke, softly into my very heart. "I want to show you something. Listen to my voice and let me lead you, and be sure to look up all the way, and walk as slowly as you can."

I obeyed, and got to my feet, walking slowly, looking up at the endless ceiling of the great building, the flags that flanked its walls. He led me slowly to the cloisters, and told me to walk on. Walking was difficult here, the ground was uneven, and looking up meant I had to walk really slowly so as not to trip up. When I got to the end of that stretch, where the cloisters bend to the right, He told me to stop, and turn, and look the way I'd come. Up first. The ceiling: vaulted, beautiful, steady, firm. "This represents me. My sustenance, my protection, my love. Don't take your eyes off me, even if you feel like you're stumbling. Look down." There on the ground where I'd walked were the tombstones of many, all arranged in an uneven way, jagged, like a badly made jigsaw. "Those are the obstacles, the distractions, the hurts, the damage caused by the lies of satan, the sins. That corridor is your past. This corner you are turning now is the corner of starting at Redcliffe. Look forward. Never look back again."

I did, turning my back on the "past" and looking up. "Walk, slowly still, but you may find you can walk a little faster. Keep your eyes fixed on me." I did so, and as I walked I did find my footing surer, safer. A way down the corridoor I saw before me a door on the right through which light streamed in, and just before it, on the opposite side, another door. Ahead of me there was another bend in the cloister, a dark stained glass archway. "Look back" said the still small voice. "Look at the stones - the obstacles." I looked, and saw the stones lined up neatly in lines, smooth and flush to the ground. "At Redcliffe I want to do this for you, take your sorrows, your hurts, your pains, and bury them properly, so they no longer hinder you. All you have to do is keep your eyes on me. Nothing else. Turn around again." I did so, the door where the light came from looking so tempting.

"You have a choice. This represents a moment in your time at Redcliffe when you will have to make a decision, to go through a door or to go on ahead. What will you choose?" I looked at the door, and at the corridoor ahead and said "I want to go through the door to the outside, but I am curious about what might be ahead as well." I thought for a moment and decided on the door and marched out into glorious sunlight, an autumn coloured garden, the sweet smell of flowers and warm air. "This is your glorious future. I will bring you here should you choose to trust me and go through the door. To do this you must do nothing, nothing at all, except look up. Go to the centre of the garden." I did so, and stood before the stone fountain in the centre of the garden. "Your heart, see how the water springs up. I will make your heart overflow with living water, your future shall be more glorious than this garden, more glorious than you can even imagine. Now let me show you what would happen if you chose to act, and not be passive, trusting in me. Go back into the corridoor."

I did so, and was surprised at how cold it was, and how I longed to be back in the garden. "Take the corridoor in front of you" I did so, and turned the corner. Before me it was dark, foreboding, almost frightening. The stones on the ground were again higgledy piggledy, my footing was not secure. "I wish I'd never come this way LORD." I said sadly. "Look up, darling, I am there. Look up and walk forwards." As I did the cloister got lighter and lighter, coming to another turn, where the corridoor in front was very light indeed, the light streaming in from another door before me. "See, I will bring you to your glorious future even if you do choose the path of action, even if you do choose not to take it the first time, but it will take longer, and it will be painful and dark. Go out into the sunlight." I did, and enjoyed the courtyard once again.

Finally, the still small voice said "Go back into the corridoor you came through the first time, and go through the door opposite the first door." I did so and found myself in a warm, glowing, cosy coffee shop. I bought myself earl grey tea. "Here I will refresh you, I will cause you to rest, I will be your God and we will simply enjoy each other. When it comes to make the decision I have put in your future, I will give you many of these rooms of rest. Use them. Rest in me, be recharged in me. You will know what the right choices are."

Eventually, as I left the cathedral he said "Don't doubt the things I tell you, for as you learned this morning, your dominant trait is Intuition, so why shouldn't I use it to talk to you? Trust it, own it, believe it. Your glorious future is not far away, just remember to look up, and nothing else. Let the glorious future come to you, because I am a good God who longs to prosper you and not harm you, and all your striving cannot make me do this for you, in fact it may slow you down."

With all these thoughts in my mind I made my way home, a smile on my lips, and a song of praise on my tongue. What a good God we have, that we, nothing but vapour in the wind, should be so tenderly cared for.

God is good!

God is so good!!

He is teaching me many things, not less all about who I am. He's brought me face to face with my true self, but most importantly, my potential as a child of God. He's teaching me three main things:

How much God loves me, how much He delights in me, how beautiful I am to Him. I am being romanced by a lover better than any earthly lover:

"But now, this is what the LORD says he who created you, he who formed you, O Lizzie: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. You are precious and honoured in my sight, and I love you." Isaiah 43:1, 4b

2. Who I am in Him and who He wants me to become:

"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." Proverbs 31:25.
Read more about this here.

3. To trust Him with all I have, to not have a spirit of fear anymore, to live in the fulness and freedom that that trust
in a trustworthy God allows me:

"Trust in the LORD forever, for God, the LORD is the Rock eternal." Isaiah 26:4.

"Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe." Proverbs 29:25.

Thank you God for everything you are doing in my life!! You are sweeter than honey and more awesome than anything else in all creation. I love you.

Just a quickie

I am so delighted to be a child of God most high!!

It's not been an easy first few weeks by any means, and relationships are quick to form and tensions quick to arise in this place. But God is good, and He's in control and He has my best interests at heart. Praise Him for that!!! Where would I be without Him??!!

I'm going to try and write here more regularly, and if you want to comment, and you have a Livejournal, then add me on there as I'll be copying blogs from here to there. My username on there is findinghisway.

Prayer requests

I will send regular e-mail updates with prayer requests to my supporters. If you would like to be added to this list please email me at littlemissstarberri@gmail.com. Here are the requests for the month of September. College starts on 12th!!! So excited!

Prayer requests

Please pray for financial provision for my course and living costs while at college, and, perhaps more importantly, the time after college when I will be serving the Lord overseas.
Linked to the previous request, pray for the provision of an appropriate part-time job during my time at college.
Pray for friendships and relationships while living in community. Pray for patience in situations where there may be cultural clashes, and pray for discernment of how best to deal with these situations.
Pray that I'd be able to get the most out of my course, and that I would be able to really draw near to God in a very special way during this time, and learn the skills I will need when I'm on the mission field.
As part of the course I will be required to do christian service in the community. I have selected options that will have me working with the homeless and vulnerable in Gloucester, such as lunches for the homeless and homeless shelters. I have chosen these areas specifically because of my calling to work with vulnerable children and homeless children. Please pray that these experiences would be good ones and that I would learn from them but also that the Lord would be with me, keep me safe and give me the words to say in situations that could be awkward or particularly challenging.
Finally, and most importantly, pray for God's will to be done in my life, and that as I try to hear His voice and give my life to serve Him, He would be ever present, showing me the path I must walk on, and being by my side at all times. This is all about Him, and for Him, and in Him. May all the Glory go to Him.

Changes Afoot

Hello all you dear readers. I daresay there still are some who occasionally check the purple pages of Starberri net to see what I'm up to and find themselves sorely dissappointed at the lack of updates. For that I must apologise. I am mainly to be found on facebook these days, where I enjoy an active online social life, heh.

Having said that I fully intend to get back to posting here semi regularly, though I may never know if you're reading because of the lack of commenting forms on my site now. They had to be painstakingly removed by my lovely maintainer Gordon because I was being seriously spammed by internet robots. Fun. So yeah, if you do read this, send me an email or something at starberricrumble@gmail.com ! That would be great. Also if you know my real name feel free to add me to facebook, I'm always happy to extend my net of friends on there - I love the stalkerish capabilities of the site! hehe.

Anyway, if your only way of keeping up to speed with my life is via this site you won't know that I've decided, after much thought and prayer, that my time in Spain is over, and it's now the time to move onto the next step in my adventure with God. I've applied (and been accepted) at Bible College to study a one year Applied Theology Course. I won't say the name of the college here for obvious reasons, but if you'd like to know more, just drop me a line! I'm very excited about everything God is doing in my life, and though a little sad to be leaving the lifestyle and friends in Spain, I'm looking forward to the 12 of September immensely!! I have also been in contact with three mission agencies with a view to see where God would like me to serve him in the future. As yet, this is still a mystery, but I trust He will make it clear when the time is right.

OK, well, that's all for now, keep on smiling, and keep on reading... I will post if anything else exciting happens :-)

~Starberri

Happy

God is good. All the time. Let me share a few things that He has been doing in my life lately:

I broke up with my non-christian boyfriend for that very reason. Something tells me this is all about timing, and I have great faith that it is not the end of our relationship. We are still great friends. It has been tough, but God is really helping me through it, I know He will honour something done for his name.
I have completed my second year of teaching in Spain! God has provided a cheaper flat for next year so I will be able to save for Bible College the year after.
My brother and his wife have moved into a flat just 100 metres away from my chosen college in Gloucester!
My grandma's cancer is now in remission - thankyou for all your prayers on this matter.
God's calling on my life is ever stronger, and He is teaching me new things each day. Today the verse for the day is the same my parents had when they were called to Chile, and it's so encouraging at this time: “The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”- Psalm 121:7-8
God is bringing people to Him because of me! A friend from college who I have not heard from in 6 years is considering Christianity and doing an Alpha course after all these years, when at college we used to talk and discuss my faith and she used to categorically refuse to believe any of it. I am currently blessed with a new friend who is a new christian and helping her through her doubts and learning so much about God and the way he works through her friendship.

That's all for now, but I just want to encourage you to look for the blessing in your life, even in time of trial, because you're sure to find it!!

Love to you all.

In the beginning

I'm really not sure how many people if any read this journal, but well, if you do, give me a shout!!

I just really wanted to draw attention to a new piece I wrote yesterday... Read it HERE. Thanks, I really appreciate anyone who reads my work, and hope you find it inspiring or it speaks to you in some way... if it does, I would love you to let me know!

Life is OK at the moment, trying to walk in God's will for my life, and looking at Mission Agencies, and jobs to keep me tied over next year... teaching jobs and translation jobs! I'll keep you posted, whoever you are :)

~Starberri

Tears from the Saints

I've been having a difficult first couple of weeks... just getting back into the swing of work and mundane tasks - which we ENFP's are not altogether keen on!!

I've felt far away from God to say the least, as I've been spending a lot of time with friends and not a lot of time with Him. Time with friends is fantastic of course, but it doesn't rest the soul. I haven't been getting a great deal of physical rest either, but the exhaustion really comes from that deep well within me, my soul, that needs the Lord's gentle renewal.

For Christmas I bought myself a few new Christian albums to top up my collection and inspire me afresh, including two Caedmon's Call Albums (Share the Well and Call Back Home) which are FANTASTIC - I recommend them highly!! I'd been listening to my new albums on shuffle on the way into school most days and one day I was crying out to God in my head that he would speak to me, that I longed to hear his voice. This song came across my ears... It brought me to my knees inwardly to say the least, as it's uplifting message and yet at the same time it's clear "You're on the right path - I will give you a renewed passion for my name and for the lost. This is your call. Do not waver from it." It's from a Leeland Album called Sound of Melodies. Another one I recommend you check out, especially this song, which is so beautiful. Here are the lyrics so you can see what I am talking about!!

There are many prodigal sons
On our city streets they run
Searching for shelter
There are homes broken down
People’s hopes have fallen to the ground
From failures

This is an emergency!

There are tears from the saints
For the lost and unsaved
We’re crying for them come back home
We’re crying for them come back home
And all your children will stretch out their hands
And pick up the crippled man
Father, we will lead them home
Father, we will lead them home

There are schools full of hatred
Even churches have forsaken
Love and mercy
May we see this generation
In it’s state of desperation
For Your glory

This is an emergency!

Sinner, reach out your hands!
Children in Christ you stand!
Sinner, reach out your hands!
Children in Christ you stand!

And all Your children will stretch out their hands
And pick up the crippled man
Father, we will lead them home
Father, we will lead them home

Apologies and a short update

I need to apologise for my lack of updates to the 18th day advent, and for giving up on it long before it was Christmas. This was due to technical difficulties, also known as killing my computer! You'll be pleased to know it has been fixed and I should be back in action sometime next week (I fly back to Spain this Sunday)

I hope all your Christmases were wonderful and your new years peaceful.

I've had a lovely time meeting family and old and new friends. I've also made the definate decision that this will be my final year teaching in Spain, and am looking into supply teaching in Yorkshire for next year in order to save for Bible College the year after. I'm going to miss Alpedrete and the people in her, but, as they well know, they're in my heart, and I will always come back to her and to them.