Beauty
The endless empty pursuit of the old lie.
So is this what men want? Is this beauty?
If it is, then beauty is fiction. Look closer and you'll see she's made of plastic.
I made the huge mistake of reading (or rather looking at the pictures) in HEAT! today (yes I know I should remember Baz Luhrman's advice on "Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen" - I didn't BUY the magazine ok?). It started me off on one of my biggest "issues" again. Basically I don't like myself physically, and when you look at pictures of so-called "perfect" people it just reminds you of how gorgeous you are expected to look in order to fit in into the western image-obsessed world we live in.
The thing is what these magazines are screaming at you is that you have to have the hair, the nails, the lips, the face, the makeup, the body, the friends, the boyfriend, the sex, the car, the job, the clothes, the lifestyle, the parties in order to be happy. These magazines tell you you CAN be happy, if you only get all of these things right. They give you tips and tricks on how to make your hair less staticky, how to have the perfect sex, how to make your boyfriend into the man you want, how to make your body fit the model known as "sexy", which is now neither stick thin or "normal", it's so-called "curvy". Then they illustrate these tips with beautiful glossy images of celebreties who seem to have it all. The crazy thing is as soon as one of these celebreties shows a crack in the "perfection" veneer, they are all over them like hyenas. Don't get me wrong, I know these people only write this stuff because it's what people want to read. And you know why I think that is? Because the devil twists, and one of the things he has twisted is our image of self-worth.
We were made in God's image, but we are fallen, and so we are constantly aware of our uglyness, of this gaping hole that there is in our lives, and we think that what is missing is "happiness". The media lies to us telling us that this happiness is achievable, and most people, if they're anything like me, end up on an endless and fruitless merry-go-round of hopelessness, trying to find the happiness they crave, but realising that it is unreachable. Look at celebreties. They seem to have everything, and they've got more chance than any of us to be happy, but are they?
Jon cheered me up by showing me a website (go to PORTFOLIO and look at the before/after pictures) where they airbrush photographs of "beautiful people". The first thoughts were - they're just like me really, not perfect and beautiful, the second reaction was anger - these magazines are constantly saying we can achieve this level of beauty, and yet it's not real, it's not actually natural, it's all airbrushed. It's a fiction, it's bare-faced deceipt.
Yet again, the devil's lies shout louder than God's truth, and you have to listen very hard to the still small voice. But the thing about truth is that once you've heard it it makes perfect sense, and cuts through the lies like a sword through butter.
Here are some of the things God has taught me about beauty (that I need to relearn again when the devil starts on me!!):
- We are made in God's image. God does all things well. Therefore it follows that we are beautiful beings. I often find that the more I look at humanity and try and see the good in it, I see true beauty shining in the faces of all people. The more you look at someone, the more you know someone, the more their inside goodness shines through to their outside, it doesn't matter how spotty/fat/ugly they might be (by the world's standards) they ARE beautiful. True beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder, but not just when you love someone, it's when you look at someone through the eyes of heaven, as a child of God. According to Psalm 139, we are "fearfully and wonderfully made", we know this because all God's works are wonderful. If we speak badly of ourselves we are saying God has not done a good job!
- Satan hates us. He wants us to think the worst of ourselves so he can destroy us. If he can get us comparing ourselves to some stick thin "beautiful" model, the job's half done for him. But is that same model happy? Do you really think she's found satisfaction? True answer is probably no. One of the devil's favourite ploys to use on humans "the grass is greener". If we're constantly striving for something better that is not Godly, he distracts us from our true calling.
- We mirror Jesus. And to some people that is not beautiful. In fact to some people it is like a "foul stench". But that's good!! The worst thing in my opinion is when there is no reaction your faith (positive or negative). If people don't react, surely you need to go further up and further in (see my previous post) because if you are really on fire for Jesus, some people will see that as extremely ugly, while to others it will be like sunlight in a dark world.
- There is no such thing as "physical perfection", reason? Everybody is different!! A very interesting thing one of my ex boyfriends said to me, when I was obsessing over the fact that I hated my figure, was "Liz, even if you lost loads of weight and you were really thin, you still wouldn't be the same shape as these women you want to look like, because they are just a different shape to you". So true! If you think about it our obsession comes down to wanting to look like perfect people, but if we were all perfect looking would we not all be so boring looking too? When I looked at the before/after pictures I was amazed by some of the things that had been airbrushed out - like laughter lines, and freckles - things that gave the faces such character and their own stamp, their own mark of individuality. Diversity should be celebrated!
- My favourite author is Shakespeare, a veritable literary genius, and moreover, a great observer of human nature. One of my favourite of his sonnets is about the topic of beauty:
CXXX.
My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.
6. Finally, these wonderful verses in Proverbs 31:
10 [c] A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.I want to be that woman! Lord, I pray not for outward beauty (or even that slim body I sometimes crave so much) I will not waste my life pursuing the emptiness and pointlessness that worldly "beauty" requires you to, I pray nothing more than this: that I would be a woman who fears you for all my life. That I would be a wife of noble character.
I am sure I am not the only person who feels that they are not as beautiful as they would like. I would love to encourage you with all these words, I would hope you will ponder them in your heart and be blessed by God's awesome love for you, and focus all your strength not on achieving this goal of outward perfection, but of inward perfection, through the renewing of your mind that comes from the Holy Spirit working inside you. Why then, dear brothers and sisters, your beauty will shine like the sun, and one day you will receive your new bodies that are perfect in every way, and yet, ironically, it won't really matter anymore :)