Cloister walk
God speaks
As I sat to pray in the blue room of the Cathedral, the colours and shapes playing in my mind and turning into the shapes of seas, and trees, and plains and planets, everything there worshipping God, I raised my voice up to him in praise, but then felt compelled to remain silent for a while.
He spoke, softly into my very heart. "I want to show you something. Listen to my voice and let me lead you, and be sure to look up all the way, and walk as slowly as you can."
I obeyed, and got to my feet, walking slowly, looking up at the endless ceiling of the great building, the flags that flanked its walls. He led me slowly to the cloisters, and told me to walk on. Walking was difficult here, the ground was uneven, and looking up meant I had to walk really slowly so as not to trip up. When I got to the end of that stretch, where the cloisters bend to the right, He told me to stop, and turn, and look the way I'd come. Up first. The ceiling: vaulted, beautiful, steady, firm. "This represents me. My sustenance, my protection, my love. Don't take your eyes off me, even if you feel like you're stumbling. Look down." There on the ground where I'd walked were the tombstones of many, all arranged in an uneven way, jagged, like a badly made jigsaw. "Those are the obstacles, the distractions, the hurts, the damage caused by the lies of satan, the sins. That corridor is your past. This corner you are turning now is the corner of starting at Redcliffe. Look forward. Never look back again."
I did, turning my back on the "past" and looking up. "Walk, slowly still, but you may find you can walk a little faster. Keep your eyes fixed on me." I did so, and as I walked I did find my footing surer, safer. A way down the corridoor I saw before me a door on the right through which light streamed in, and just before it, on the opposite side, another door. Ahead of me there was another bend in the cloister, a dark stained glass archway. "Look back" said the still small voice. "Look at the stones - the obstacles." I looked, and saw the stones lined up neatly in lines, smooth and flush to the ground. "At Redcliffe I want to do this for you, take your sorrows, your hurts, your pains, and bury them properly, so they no longer hinder you. All you have to do is keep your eyes on me. Nothing else. Turn around again." I did so, the door where the light came from looking so tempting.
"You have a choice. This represents a moment in your time at Redcliffe when you will have to make a decision, to go through a door or to go on ahead. What will you choose?" I looked at the door, and at the corridoor ahead and said "I want to go through the door to the outside, but I am curious about what might be ahead as well." I thought for a moment and decided on the door and marched out into glorious sunlight, an autumn coloured garden, the sweet smell of flowers and warm air. "This is your glorious future. I will bring you here should you choose to trust me and go through the door. To do this you must do nothing, nothing at all, except look up. Go to the centre of the garden." I did so, and stood before the stone fountain in the centre of the garden. "Your heart, see how the water springs up. I will make your heart overflow with living water, your future shall be more glorious than this garden, more glorious than you can even imagine. Now let me show you what would happen if you chose to act, and not be passive, trusting in me. Go back into the corridoor."
I did so, and was surprised at how cold it was, and how I longed to be back in the garden. "Take the corridoor in front of you" I did so, and turned the corner. Before me it was dark, foreboding, almost frightening. The stones on the ground were again higgledy piggledy, my footing was not secure. "I wish I'd never come this way LORD." I said sadly. "Look up, darling, I am there. Look up and walk forwards." As I did the cloister got lighter and lighter, coming to another turn, where the corridoor in front was very light indeed, the light streaming in from another door before me. "See, I will bring you to your glorious future even if you do choose the path of action, even if you do choose not to take it the first time, but it will take longer, and it will be painful and dark. Go out into the sunlight." I did, and enjoyed the courtyard once again.
Finally, the still small voice said "Go back into the corridoor you came through the first time, and go through the door opposite the first door." I did so and found myself in a warm, glowing, cosy coffee shop. I bought myself earl grey tea. "Here I will refresh you, I will cause you to rest, I will be your God and we will simply enjoy each other. When it comes to make the decision I have put in your future, I will give you many of these rooms of rest. Use them. Rest in me, be recharged in me. You will know what the right choices are."
Eventually, as I left the cathedral he said "Don't doubt the things I tell you, for as you learned this morning, your dominant trait is Intuition, so why shouldn't I use it to talk to you? Trust it, own it, believe it. Your glorious future is not far away, just remember to look up, and nothing else. Let the glorious future come to you, because I am a good God who longs to prosper you and not harm you, and all your striving cannot make me do this for you, in fact it may slow you down."
With all these thoughts in my mind I made my way home, a smile on my lips, and a song of praise on my tongue. What a good God we have, that we, nothing but vapour in the wind, should be so tenderly cared for.