Great is His Faithfulness
Morning by morning new mercies I see
Good evening squirrels!
I am so sorry for not updating in a while, to those of you who read my journal regularly, thankyou so much for your support and I assure you that I'm going to endeavour to write more regularly from now on.
The thing I've been pondering on and struck by most recently is God's faithfulness. His unchanging, unswerving, unmoving faithfulness. His steadfast promise-keeping.
Many of you know that I am not really sure what I am going to do with my life beyond next year, during which I feel God is telling me to stay here. Thinking about next July, I am at a crossroads: Should I start applying for jobs in schools in England again (something I really don't feel compelled to do - my love of teaching has all but petered out), should I start looking to go on Bible College courses (as I feel God nudging me into full-time Christian ministry and this might be the best stepping stone... but how will I afford it?) or start applying directly to Missionary Organisations to try and get a placement or a job...
I hate the feeling of everything being so uncertain, and up in the air, however, God's promises hold me firm. He will never leave me nor forsake me. I stand firm and secure on the rock that is God, and I know He will show me what I need to know right when I need to know it... Worrying is obsolete and completely unecessary, even though it's hard to just let it go sometimes... weird how a worried stance can often be a comfortable position when you grow accustomed to it...
Two ways God has shown me His faithfulness this year, apart from the obvious - bringing me here and keeping me alive :P - are maybe seemingly insignificant, but to me they speak loudly of what God is doing in my life, transforming me by the renewing of my mind.
The first is a growth in wisdom. Not in knowledge but in wisdom, in sound judgement and in spiritual logic. Solomon prayed for wisdom, and so did I, at the beginning of this year, quite fervently, and then promptly forgot that I'd prayed it. As testament to God's faithfulness He has answered without me even realising it - I can no longer count on the fingers of my hands how many people have said to me what a wise young woman I am - now this is testimony to the great job my parents did in bringing me up, but also, I believe, a firm and plain answer to prayer!
The second thing is my "dirty mind". Back at college I thought it nothing to swear and take God's name in vain and to make crude jokes, often to the point of shocking even my non-christian friends...
My concience had been blunted, my saltiness had been lost...
I grew very scared at the beginning of this year that I would never get the saltiness back, and I prayed for a long time that God would sharpen my concience.
Back at college I was living in darkness, and I actually found it uncomfortable to be around Christians, probably because i didn't enjoy feeling convicted... Well, that has changed, and I crave the company of Christians, and God has really blessed me with so many GOOD Christian friends in Spain...
I spent all weekend with Christians, setting my mind on things above, God-gossiping, worshipping Him with them, encouraging and praying with them. It payed off. As flint sharpens flint, so Christians sharpen Christians.
On the way home from Madrid on Monday I was on the bus and a song came on the radio which is very crude. It is a song that in my college days I used to enjoy. As testament to God's spirit working in me, and answering my prayer to make me salty again, I was repulsed by that song, and worshipped God in my head to counter its evil.
So you see... God is moving, God is changing me.. equipping me, preparing me for the road ahead. And whatever may happen, He is with me always, for His faithfulness will never fail.